i hate my job today: day 10

214.4

Still losing! Total loss of 14.6 lbs so far! Go, me!

Yesterday was a terrible day at work. I had to move my Dallas vacation to the following weekend, and turn it into a long weekend rather than a whole week, to the tune of $600. I am seriously stressed about some projects at work, about my billable hours for August (abysmal, thanks to a vacation and my lap dance). My comforting friend, food, has deserted me.

Yesterday:

1 blueberry smoothie made with 1 small juice box (100 cals), 2/3 cup blueberries (55 cals), and 1 scoop of unflavored Unjury (80 cals), 1/2 cup pureed split pea soup (95 cals) with 2 Tbsp sharp shredded cheddar mixed in (60 cals), the better part of a 10-oz serving of Atlanta Bread Company tomato soup (130 cals) with the innards of a sourdough roll picked apart into tiny shreds and stirred into the soup, yes I know that is against the rules, (~80 cals). Total: 600 calories.

Today:

1 scoop of chocolate-flavored Unjury (100 cals) in 8 oz. of 2% milk (120 cals), which was spectacular. It tasted so much like a chocolate malt milkshake that I think I'm going to freeze some milk into ice cubes and make actual shakes in the mornings from that stuff. DIVINE. 1/2 cup tomato soup (43 cals) with 1 tablespoon tomato-basil feta stirred in (23 cals) for lunch. A Dannon Light 'n' Fit strawberry banana smoothie for snack time (70 cals). I have no idea on supper yet.

Normally I go for 1% milk, which differs very little caloricly from skim milk, but which I find to be much more palatable. But we don't have any milk at home and so I bought a little milk carton from the cafe in my office building on my way in.

I need to shop tonight or tomorrow morning, as the only soup I have left in the house is a little bit of split pea and some frozen black bean that I was planning to save. My latest issue of Cooking Light came a few days ago, and in it I found a really simple recipe for cream of baked potato soup! I even have a couple ingredients at home still-- reduced-fat sour cream and sharp cheddar shreds. I think some baked potato soup would be really filling right now. I'm starting to get my hunger back.

I'm also planning to pick up some milk for the Unjury, yogurt, frozen strawberries, a few more ready-made soups, and some supplies to keep M from eating nothing but fast food while I am stuck on liquids.

The Dermabond has worn completely off of one of my incisions, the small one that falls, annoyingly, right at my bra line. The scar underneath is small, pink, and healthy-looking. I am pleased. My other incisions, especially Big Papa, have started to itch something fierce. It takes a lot of conscious thinking to prevent myself from scratching the Dermabond right off! But I have heard that the itching is a good sign that the skin is healing, so I am pleased with that, too.

My pain at the port incision (and in the underlying muscle) and my gas problems are really all that's left, and both are much improved. I am still, also, really exhausted, basically all day. I could lay down and go to sleep within 5 minutes at basically any point in my day. Probably most shocking, I have a very difficult time getting up in the morning, and I am such a morning person! I am used to bounding out of bed at the first or second alarm (snooze button's a bitch) after 7 or 7.5 hours of restful sleep, and running and walking my dog. These days, I sleep 10 - 11 hours and am still groggy in the morning. I blame part of it on healing, part of it on my very limited caloric intake, and part on the fact that I haven't been walking much or running at all. I know that exercise always makes me feel more energetic. I am looking forward to getting back into my regular routine.

My office closes early today, 1:00 p.m., to celebrate the Labor Day holiday, but I am stuck here all day anyway. Bummer.