day 6

217.6

Wow, still losing, it seems.

First day back at work. M drove me in, admonishing me the whole way not to "try to be a hero" and to call him right away if I need to come home early. He's worried I'll be in too much pain/discomfort, or too tired, or just in general fed up with my Pointy-Haired Boss. I'm not too worried about it, except that I have become quite accustomed to naps-on-demand and my energy level isn't very high. But my job is of the pencil-pushing, bean-counting variety, so I don't anticipate a strenuous day.

I packed a whole sack full of post-op treats: two juice boxes (one consumed on the drive in to work), a Dannon Light 'n' Fit strawberry and banana smoothie, 1/2 cup of tomato soup and 1 Tbsp of feta. Total: 336 calories. For supper I am going to (energy levels allowing) make some black bean soup, saving some thick and chunky and topped with goodies for M, some pureed and thinned with chicken stock for moi.

(Updated: I made the black bean soup, and it was wonderful. I'm estimating 125 cals for one half-cup, plus 20 cals for a tablespoon of reduced-fat sour cream. I had a regular popsicle too, 45 cals. Total for day: 526 cals.)

I am still gassy and "bubbly" as I call the gurgle/rumble/burping that I seem to be doing a lot of. It is similar to when your tummy rumbles from hunger, but not quite the same. For starters, its much more uncomfortable. Also, I feel it at the top of my stomach, trying to get through the stoma, I presume. And the rumbles and gurgles are usually followed by an unladylike burp, which is unlike hungry-growling. I forgot to bring any Maalox or Gas-X with me, but I'm still not sure they help much.

Saturday morning I leave for a week's vacation at my future in-law's. They are really nice people and so far everyone gets along fine, but (a) I do not relish the thought of another plane trip, even a short 2-hour one, (b) we aren't married yet, so we aren't allowed to sleep together, and (c) its not a real vacation for me. I'm happy to go because M is close to his family and gets to see them so infrequently (about once or twice a year, tops), but its just not quite as fun for me. Plus, I'll still be on the liquid diet and so I'll feel bad about them deferring constantly to me for eating out plans.

I have not, by the way, told them, or allowed M to tell them, that I had a lap dance. He told them I had a laparoscopic hernia repair and since the procedures are similar, the liquid diet etc. seems very reasonable. They are nice people and I don't think they'd be judgmental or unkind about it, but I just didn't feel like discussing it ad nauseum for the entire week, which was sure to happen. His dad, in particular, is a very decent guy, but he's also very... opinionated and once he gets hold of a topic, he will just go on and on. I'm just not sure I'm up to that right now.

I have a couple other people that need to be told soon, though. My best friend is away at med school, and I'm very close to her, her mother, and her kid sister. There really isn't a good way for me to avoid telling them, but I did put it off until after surgery because my best friend is a very hippy-granola-chick who has argued me out of having this surgery before. She thinks its unnecessary for me at my weight and lifestyle, that it comes with risks and downsides and so forth. She's also tall, leggy, blonde, slender, and hot. She doesn't understand what struggling along with these weight issues for so long is like for me. We have a third friend, we're kind of a triumvirite, and this friend and her husband live in Atlanta and already know. I have sworn them to secrecy until after the surgery, but its sure to get out now. So I need to just bite the bullet and call Miss Med School.

Its almost 10:00 a.m. and I haven't yet been able to finish my rapidly-cooling 9:00 a.m. mug of green tea. And I need to move on to my smoothie! And maybe do some work!