still frustrated

218.0

My fiancee M got on a plane headed to Japan today. He has been "at home"-- making "at home" pay, which is minimal-- for a very long stretch, almost two months. We have only 38 days until the wedding, and he needed to get another job done before the wedding, for budgetary reasons. However, as his jobs typically last 3 to 5 weeks, we were hoping it would not be scrunched up so close to the wedding date itself. Japan is looking like it might only require two weeks of his time, but he might get sent out to another job that is "on fire" in Congo right after. We'll see.

In any case, I am sad to see him go, sad to have this giant mountain of wedding work in front me to conquer all on my own. But, that is life. Its his job, and I deal with it.

Today I am wearing another new wardrobe component from Lands' End: this sweater twinset in lavender with some grey pants I already own, belted because they are big on me.

This morning I ran the same 3-mile loop that I ran last week and felt so good about. Instead of doing it in 42 minutes (like last week), I did it in 46 minutes. And it was low 50's, breezy, humid. In other words: excellent running weather. I was plenty awake, as I embarked on my run at 6:30 a.m. after an hourlong round-trip to drop M at the airport-- we'd been up since a quarter to 5:00. I've been doing plenty of running in between. Is it that I am a whole 1.4 lbs fatter and that is slowing me down? Is my brain telling me I'm fatter and therefore I need to slow down? Was it just my melancholy mood throwing me off?

Yesterday I had a breakfast bar and a cup of coffee, some Morningstar Farm buffalo bites with cucumber, tomatoes, and light blue cheese dressing for lunch, a banana around 3:00 p.m., leftover pot roast for dinner, and some light ice cream later with M. All reasonable, healthy amounts. In fact lunch was pretty small.

My challenge for today is to NOT go home and eat a bucket of mashed potatoes and the rest of the container of ice cream feeling sorry for myself.