been naughty: day 12

214.4

First of all, this is the third day in a row that I've weighed in at exactly that. I am frustrated that I am still consuming so far below 1,000 calories (up to about 800 a day now) and my loss has stalled. I'm also not working out yet, so I'm hoping that once I'm healed, I can eat that little, but workout and still lose.

I have to confess, because I feel very naughty. M bought me some Edy's Double Churned Light caramel ice cream, 130 calories per half-cup serving. I've had a half-cup serving the last two nights. But even worse: last night we went to see The Bourne Ultimatum early, at 6:30 p.m. When we got out at 8:30 p.m. we were both really hungry. We stopped at Moe's so M could get a burrito. Moe's chips and cheese dip have always been an irresistable draw for me and... I have to confess... I ate some teensy tiny bits of soft flour tortilla, dipped in the cheese dip, and chewed to paste. I was so hungry. Now, of course, in true Yo-Yo Dieter fashion, my "all or nothing" thinking has kicked in and I'm petrified that I've Ruined Everything and Slipped My Band and Now You'll Always Be Fat Because You Have No Willpower, You Giant Waste of Skin.

Ugh. I'm trying to move on, I really am. I am eating my full liquids and trying not to worry myself into a nervous breakdown.

On a positive note, I've been getting really close to 60 grams of protein a day, thanks to the Unjury. I've been making shakes with 1 cup milk and Unjury (29 grams) or 1 cup fat-free yogurt, frozen fruit, and Unjury (30 grams). Yesterday I had one for breakfast and one for supper. I plan a similar strategy for today. The Unjury is expensive-- I've already done significant damage to two of the four containers I bought-- but its really tasty, and the protein is important right now. I don't want my hairs to fall out!

I've been thinking about making an oatmeal using unflavored Unjury for breakfasts once I'm back to solids. I know some people continue to use the protein shakes after they have good restriction just to make sure they are getting enough protein.

I've also been doing well as far as taking my Flintstone vitamins. I can't believe I wasted money on those horrifically disgusting GNC liquid vitamins.

Yesterday I made some baked potato soup from a recipe in my most recent issue of Cooking Light. It was extremely filling for just a half-cup, and really rich. It totals about 329 calories for one cup, but I left off the called-for bacon crumbles and managed only about a half-cup anyway, so I think it was worth it. It was really simple-- just basically potatoes, mashed (I boiled them instead of baking), flour, 2% milk, reduced fat sour cream, shredded sharp cheddar cheese, salt and pepper. The original also called for green onions, but like the bacon, I left them out as being too solid.

Today I've had a strawberry, fat-free yogurt, and Unjury smoothie (235 cals). I plan another half-cup of baked potato soup for lunch (160 cals), 1 cup of tomato soup with 2 Tbsp of feta (140 cals) and a 2% milk and chocolate Unjury smoothie for supper (220 cals). Total for day: 755 cals.